Local, Organic, Seasonal and Housemade Local organic produce, grass fed beef, fresh caught fi sh and certifi ed organic chicken. Vegan, Vegetarian and Gluten Free options off ered. Dine on the open tranquil lanai surrounded by natural greenery and bordering a lovely natural gulch. Th e premiere dining restaurant on the Hamakua Coast. Lunch: 11-4 Monday- Saturday Dinner: Monday-Th ursday 4-8 Friday and Saturday 4-9 Organic and Craft Beers Wine and Sake 45-3512 Mamane Street Honoka’a www.greenmarketandcafe.com 808.775.0004 Making Life Easier for You… No Appointment Needed for Oil Changes & Safety Checks! Oil Changes come with a 36-POINT INSPECTION •Fresh New Oil and Oil Filter •Check & Adjust Tire Pressure •Inspect Exterior Lights •Check Cabin Filter •Bring these fluids to full: Transmission, Coolant, Power Steering, Gear Box & Washer We update you on your vehicles’ health so that you can maintain it properly. DISC VER CARD 6011 0004 1234 456 •Lubricate Chassis •Inspect All Belts & Hoses 885-5959 Parker Ranch Ctr lexbrodiestire.com KAMUELA STORE 16 | TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2015 Laughter erapy SHAY BINTLIFF, MD As I read about and hear on the news about the monsoon season upon us, I am reminded of one of my favorite “local” sayings … “No rain, no rainbows!” So, hang in there friends and be grateful that so far none of the major storms have become major hurricanes. Now, time for “therapy!” Football season is here, in case you women have not noticed your men in front of the TV … “Oh, honey, can you bring me another beer … and then the ght. So, I have to share some football humor! … A college coach remarks about one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear! In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words!” … How many Miami freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None! at’s a sophomore course! … And what does the average Miami player get on his SATs? Drool! (oh, dats bad!) … What do you say to a UCLA football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise?!” A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. e top was down and the breeze was blowing through his hair, so he decided to open her up! As the needle jumped to 80 mph, he suddenly saw red and blue ashing lights behind him. “ ere’s no way they can catch my Mercedes, so he opened her up more. e needle hit 90, then 100. en the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought and so he pulled over. e cop came up, took his license and without a word, examined the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shi and I’m exhausted! I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.” e guy thinks for a second and then says, “Last week my wife ran o with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back to me!” e o cer walked away and then turned around and said, “Have a very nice weekend!” OK, some one liners: Q: What kind of dog tells time? A: A watch dog! … Q: Did you hear about the cannibals that attended the wedding? A: ey toasted the bride and groom! … Q: Which sh can perform an operation? A: Sturgeon. … Q: What did the rst stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Don’t look! I’m changing! … One more? A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer,” he says. e bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “No charge!” … stay with me now, folks! Time to close: A magician was facing a rather unruly crowd as his tricks failed to impress them. To cheer them up, the magician said: “Could anyone please give me an egg; for I shall show you an incredible trick!” A man in the back row of the crowd shouted: “If we had an egg with us, it would have reached you long before now!” Enough for this week my friends … Do good deeds … give to the less fortunate … aloha … a hui hou.
To see the actual publication please follow the link above